((((((Queen of wands))))))), sorry you are having such a hard time. I know what it feels like to retreat or withdraw. It really should have been my middle name. And I do not even have a child to worry about and take care of. So I cant imagine how hard it would be for you with that added responsability.

Maybe one day at a time you can gently make yourself just do the things. Gently. Not looking too far ahead. Just taking care of where you need to be tomorrow. And how you can do it. Dont know if that would help. I know that sometimes the fear can just be so overwhelming. For me its a viscious cycle. Just know I am sending you lots of good thoughts to find a way to get to the apts and the course. And I know that its not an easy thing to do.