Well one thing is that you are depressed probably obviously. Being depressed is very difficult, for sure. Another thing is you should see a therapist and be on some different medicine or no medicine possibly. Your a intelligent person and refer to better times in your life and join a support group, if ya can it sounds like you have sme more issues that can be resolved. The trick is to find out exactly what behavior or stimuli around you that caused this than work on it with a therapist who is capable of doing so. Even if ya can also get some psychology books related to what your going through and read up and become sort of an expertise if you will like what I have been pursuing. It helps a bit. It's tough I completely understand and you need support and to work on those issues that are interfering with you living a fulfilling contented existence.

What you don't know is what you need to know, Stay before ya go