I don't know. I feel as though I am spinning my wheels and getting more and more stuck. I am not dealing with inside stuff at all. I don't have the time. I know it is a recipe for disaster yet it is as though I can do nothing else. I am working everyday but have nothing to show for it. Oldest needs soccer cleats as his broke and he plays on the high school team so pretty important. Daughter is wearing clothes that don't fit. I am so tired of seeing her shorts longer than her skirts. Plus this is her first year in high school and she is trying everything. I don't mind but her grades are suffering. And I do mean everything...she is in ROTC, mariachi, photography, and the black student council (that is their official name so please noone take offense). She has tried step and auditioned for the school play and the school talent show.My husband's car just underwent $900 in repairs. I get paid later today and he is expecting me to pay the utility bill which was over $300 and my phone bill of $47. I am so scared because I really need to get some things for the kids. They are not a priority to him and I really need new glasses. I went and got the prescription but cannot afford the glasses yet so I am having to see using my prescription sunglasses. It is not easy for me to drive in the dark with them. And there is work...it is not the most supportive place. I mentioned in an email to my principal that I wanted to advise the SAVE (Students Against Violence Everywhere) club as I was raped as a teen and also molested by a school staff member in high school. The email program we have has a history feature and it show she forwarded it three different times. Aaaggggghhhhh. I have no way of knowing if she edited it before sending it so now who knows who knows. I am not ashamed but it is not somethimg I go around sharing either. I had shared with her, wanting her to know my heart. And church is kinda getting on my nerves. We have services twice a week in our home. I am tired of always trying to prepare for company and then some members make themselves right at home to the point of getting things out and not putting them up. I guess I have really vented and ranted enough but I honestly feel so tossed about. And this is a bad time of year for me. Plus my assistant at school came to me last week talking about this show on Oprah she watched where one lady had 93 personalities and one just 13 and how it impacted their families and on and on. I was at a loss of how to respond. And I was wondering...does she see it in me? I think I do ok but am I really fooling anyone?