So, how many of you are like me and find that relaxation exercises cause you anxiety?

Yesterday my t and I got on this topic because rather than dealing with depression, I've been on the edge of hypomania this week. I get wound up by certain activities and find it impossible to wind down to sleep, go without sleep for a few days, and then crash. Not a healthy pattern. (Enter a firm scolding from t).

Anyway, once he got off his soapbox, he started working with me on relaxation exercises to help me get to sleep whether I'm wound up or not. It was a progressive relaxation exercise. I was proud of myself; I didn't completely reject the idea of learning to do this like I normally would. I did, however, talk to him about how exposed and anxious relaxation exercises make me feel.

T talked to me about what the reality really is. There is nothing that is going to hurt me while I do these exercises. I won't become so relaxed that I can't react and defend myself in the unlikely event that I should need to. My fears are not based in the reality of the situation. It really helped hearing that from him.

So, I know I will have the opportunity to try this out this weekend. Lots of late night stimulating activities with a football game to go to and a marching contest the following night. Hopefully, I'll have some success with this. Otherwise, like t said, I'm playing Russian roulette with my bipolar disorder.