So, how many of you are like me and find that relaxation exercises cause you anxiety?
Yesterday my t and I got on this topic because rather than dealing with depression, I've been on the edge of hypomania this week. I get wound up by certain activities and find it impossible to wind down to sleep, go without sleep for a few days, and then crash. Not a healthy pattern. (Enter a firm scolding from t
).
Anyway, once he got off his soapbox, he started working with me on relaxation exercises to help me get to sleep whether I'm wound up or not. It was a progressive relaxation exercise. I was proud of myself; I didn't completely reject the idea of learning to do this like I normally would. I did, however, talk to him about how exposed and anxious relaxation exercises make me feel.
T talked to me about what the reality really is. There is nothing that is going to hurt me while I do these exercises. I won't become so relaxed that I can't react and defend myself in the unlikely event that I should need to. My fears are not based in the reality of the situation. It really helped hearing that from him.
So, I know I will have the opportunity to try this out this weekend. Lots of late night stimulating activities with a football game to go to and a marching contest the following night. Hopefully, I'll have some success with this. Otherwise, like t said, I'm playing Russian roulette with my bipolar disorder.