I'm almost (next month) a year into therapy with my current T. We are doing trauma work and I feel like I just can't do it anymore. I told her yesterday that I feel like I'm drowning and I'm just tired of staying afloat. I have a wonderful husband and 2 great kids - but sometimes nothing is more important than stopping all the pain and hurt and crying and remembering and fear. She promises me that I can do this. That this will get better, that I will get through all this. I just feel so stuck. No one else knows my story, not even my husband. I worry that she will grow tired of supporting me. I kept asking her over and over yesterday "are you tired of me?" I'm so afraid my neediness will push her away and I will be left alone with all this.

It's extra hard because my "outside" doesn't match my "inside", if that makes any sense at all. From the outside anyone who knows me probably thinks I have a pretty great life, while I'm completely falling apart on the inside. I don't know how to bring these two parts of me together. this is SO hard. I just need some support right now. I know I don't post here a lot - mostly because a lot of the threads are triggering to me, but PLEASE I need some support from some of you who have been through this. I'm really hanging on by my fingernails right now.

Doogie