Hi there .... very scared for you. You deserve to be treated like a princess, to be shown love, tenderness and emotional support. You deserve to be free and to find real love and a healthy way to live.
Love does not give him the right to abuse you, either emotionally or physically. He is hurting your love and he is smacking and kicking it around with no respect. He is not giving you love. He is hurting your love, your peace .... your whole person.

You can do this.....you can find the strength....you can get help.....I am glad you are here and that you are talking about it and reaching out....please continue to do so, but also consider establishing a support system for you..... start reaching out to groups who can help with domestic violence....start to plan your new life ..... start with getting things in place so you can find peace and support and a new place to live ..... and when you are ready, when you are strong and confident .... just enough to do it .... then you take the leap of faith and beleive in yourself and the support structure you have set up..... this will be your net ... to catch you when the jump is made.
You need support .... there are many people out there and many places which can help.
When you are ready of course.
In the meantime I hope you are feeling better soon.