All of a sudden there was right in front of my window a scene that usually would upset me. Two police cars and a bright red medic.

I could feel some physical stress reaction wind up and reminded myself to sloooooooooow down. Breathe. My first fear was that they were here for my friend upstairs. She has tried to harm herself before, I've even unfortunately witnessed some attempts.

I remembered to breathe and to not assume anything. I reminded myself that it might not be related to my friend, and that even if it was, I was okay. If she needed help, help was here.

I noticed other neighbors emerging from their apartments to see what was up, so I leisurely joined them. In the process I learned that my friend wasn't involved, she is safe.

I walked back to the laundry room and felt myself tear up. I had known that my friend's troubles had gotten to me also, but I hadn't really known how strong the concern was still with me. I took note of this.

I decided to take it easy today on purpose. Good food, warm apartment and bath, comfy clothing, and a good book to read.

Now it is a few hours later and I have the sense of winding down finally. I just now remembered that part of habit change is to notice when we succeed. I succeeded in keeping my ***** together, in making sure that I did not re-trigger myself, in listening to myself and paying attention, and in applying some compassion to the situation.

Even if I'd not been able to prevent more of an episode in myself, that would be okay too, anything is something when it comes to finding some insight into situations for me.

Sarah