hmm wonders if she should tel them she has on many occassions outrun them all on how long.............. decides the ewwwwwws woudl be loud enough to hear from the antartic circle lol

its depression - we sit in the bottom of that hole and we cant see our way out and so whats the point? and theres no energy left and so sleeping or being in bed wihtyour eyes closed curled up in a ball is the idea that seems the best.........

thing is we all know the answer (JMO ) the less we do the less we want to do ... the more we do the more energy we wil get once we get past that point where we stop fighting to stay depressed . does that sound nuts? who'd want to fight to stay depressed??????

the way i look at it is this - if (and im trying to read my own mind here lol ) if i stay in bed exhausted and dont go out and dont shower and dont wash up and remind myself how grosse i am - and how i dont deserve antything anyway so its ok that i have this - and i probably need to be punished anyway - and hey if i do go out ill only do the wrong thing and spend money i dont have or eat stuff i shouldnt ...sighs well deep inside i think depression is safer.... does that sound completely insane??????

"I" dont think this is right - but i think inside i do.....and if im depressed then i dont really have to prove anything - or do anythign - or be anything . or even live....just exist.....

so i guess the answer - again jmo - is to start doing things - i am trying to do this cos i cant find my cat in my flat anymore lol (thats almost not a joke - sighs ) i do a couple of things then i have to lay down but iget up when i can again - sighs - its sooo hard...i stil just want to sleep ....

hugs to all who want them - hope i havnt cionfused the issue or gone off track ....

take cre

P7