We have considered couseling but as you said it is very expensive and while I would consider some type of religious family counseling, my husband would not. (We did not even get married in church because "they make him feel creepy") I'm just so tired of his anger and cynicism about everything. For example two days ago I was taking my son to the beach and my husband, as soon as he woke up, starting screaming that I could not leave the house until I fixed the computer. (The sound was not working) So I tried t fix it but I couldn't figure it out and when I left he was kicking furniture around saying "I had no idea what I would come home to if I left him nothing to do all day" (He hates the beach and doesn't really get along with my family so he was staying home.) The last time he threw a fit about the computer being broken (he only works part time so he's home all day on the computer) I came home to find all of our furniture strewn about and a steak knife stuck into the kitchen paneling. I did not witness this tantrum (I don't know what else to call it) and came home to find our house in this state and no one home. Of course as soon as the issue with the computer was resolved he was very sorry but his mood swings are scary. Your right...I do feel guity that he will hurt himself though and pity that he would even consider it...he's just so unpredictable. Thank you for your perspective...It really upsets me that I have put myself in a relationship that has degraded to the point of needing therapy. I was raised in a very loving 2 parent home, my parents have been married for 25 years, and while I know your right that in this moment we both have problems that could be worked out with a therapist, I can't help feeling that I would naturally heal and be stronger for this whole experience if we split up but that he would be the same.