Soooo hear you!!! How easy it is for them (or anyone who doesn't have such things) to think they'd handle it sooo much better -- but they can only see it from how their brain operates(!) They may never truly understand (in fact, I contend that it is inherently impossible), but education can go a long way in helping.

My ex dealt with me for almost 25 years pre-proper dx. After dx he'd go off on me dragging up all the very things the BP was controlling(!!!) like I'd done it all on purpose. Ok, so now it had a name, I was doing the right things to bring it in line and suddenly he "couldn't deal" with my mood swings(?!) Whaaa? After 20-some years of (pretty much) dealing with it? Then (well, one time anyway) said he'd acted like a real ***, and that he'd need to learn more to make this work. Sounds great, right? But he never did.

Fortunately now I have a BF who is understanding and accepting. I'd thrown the BP card on the table early, not wanting to go through all that again. He's also got some mental issues, so it helps as a 2 way street with empathy. (It can be tricky though, not triggering each other...)

You've got a great idea with bringing him to talk with a professional, but if your counselor also has a "fix it and make it all better" attitude (keeping in mind that there are things that can help. Not eliminate, but help...), maybe your P-doc would be an even better expert for him to talk to? So often people do respond better to hearing information from experts, because they have no reason to "make excuses" (which it may feel like to them hearing about it from the sufferer). (And if they're not inclined to read books...)Does that make any sense?

Good luck and keep us posted, ok?