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Mental illness, I think, is at the core of most cases of social isolation—if not as a cause then as a consequence. Older adults who live alone often can have good lives if they have the determination and energy to get out into the world. Many of them are inhibited by hopelessness and fear. Of course, people become isolated because of physical disabilities, because of abandonment by their families, and because the neighborhoods they live in have become homes to different ethnic and cultural groups, often resulting in fear—warranted or not—of going out. But this sort of isolation almost inevitably results in significant psychological distress. ~Michael B. Friedman, Chairman of the Geriatric Mental Health Alliance of New York
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Hello, Muser. Most sources I have looked at agree prolonged social isolation is not healthy. As the following excerpts tell us, loneliness is more than being alone:
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Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Many people have times when they are alone through circumstances or choice. Being alone can be experienced as positive, pleasurable, and emotionally refreshing if it is under the individual's control. Solitude is the state of being alone and secluded from other people, and often implies having made a conscious choice to be alone. Loneliness can result from unwanted solitude. Loneliness does not require being alone and is experienced even in crowded places. It can be described as the absence of identification, understanding or compassion. Loneliness can be described as a feeling of isolation from other individuals, regardless of whether one is physically isolated from others or not. It may also be described as a yearning for love or companionship, which is unfulfilled, but cannot seemingly be achieved, or may stem from the lack of love in one's life, and hence may lead to emotions such as rejection, despair and low self-esteem. Feelings of loneliness may be similar to feelings of the death or loss of a loved one.
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Chronic loneliness (as opposed to the normal loneliness everyone feels from time to time), is a serious, life-threatening condition. At least one study has empirically correlated it with an increased risk of cancer, especially for those who hide their loneliness from the outside world. It is associated with increased risk of stroke and cardiovascular disease. People who are socially isolated also report poor sleep quality and thus have diminished restorative processes. Loneliness is also linked with depression, a risk factor for suicide. Émile Durkheim also described loneliness, specifically the inability or unwillingness to live for others (i.e. for friendships or altruistic ideas), as the main reason for what he called "egoistic" suicide. Loneliness can also be connected with having a schizoid character type in which case, frequently one sees the world differently, and experiences alienation from others, described as 'the self in exile', (Klein 1995).
Loneliness can play a part in alcoholism. In children, a lack of social connections is directly linked to several forms of antisocial and self-destructive behavior, most notably hostile and delinquent behavior. In both children and adults, loneliness often has a negative impact on learning and memory. Its effect on sleep patterns, as well as the above-mentioned other effects can have a devastating effect on the ability to function in everyday life.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness
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The struggle to maintain a valid perception of self-worth has other challenges, even when there is an opportunity to communicate. "Disconfirm" means:
To establish the falsity of a claim or belief; to show or to tend to show that a theory or hypothesis is not valid.
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Anthropologists talk about disconfirmation -- what happens when people deny you right to your face. It can hurt far worse than isolation. They might relabel what you're doing in order to disconfirm it. You call it an introspective essay. They say you're whining and it's all adolescent angst. Or you write a cathartic, painful word picture of depression and your friends treat it as the funniest satire, quoting it and laughing.
Yes, that happened to me, and it took place at a school assembly. Worse, it was my two closest friends doing it. They honestly misinterpreted the piece. It hurt so deep they might as well have been family rejecting me, but to the audience, my reactions looked like a crazy person's. To them it was a successful comedy they enjoyed. To me it was humiliating to have my most painful feelings mocked in front of a crowd.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Creativity--...Mental-Illness
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The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. ~Elie Wiesel
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Christina Sponias describes indifference as "a cruel reaction to someone else's pain. If you don't care about other people's suffering, you may even provoke it to them, without understanding what you are doing."
DocJohn speaks of indifference in a relationship here:
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...-relationship/
Those who are the objects of apathy, unconcern, detachment, and disinterest truly must struggle mightily to survive unscathed from the ravages of illness.
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Loneliness is an aching void in the center of our beings, a deep longing to love and be loved, to be fully known and accepted by at least one other person. It is a hollow, haunting sound sweeping thru our depths, chilling our bones and causing us to shiver.
Is there a person, anywhere, who has never felt the stab of loneliness, who has never experienced the eerie distance of isolation and separation,
who has never suffered the pain of rejection or the loss of love?
The final rupture or breakdown of a valued loving relationship, the sudden death of someone who was close and special, an unavoidable separation from a loved one—these things strike loneliness into our hearts, the intense experience of the absence of that specific person.
Besides longing for a specific person, sometimes loneliness has no name attached. This is the general feeling of being alone, isolated, separated from others.
And there is a third kind of loneliness—existential loneliness—which is even deeper and more pervasive than either of the first two. It often disguises itself as longing for a specific person or pretends to be yearning for contact with anyone, but this deeper lack or emptiness-of-being is not really a kind of loneliness at all.
Being together with other people, even people we intensely love, does not overcome this deep incompleteness of being. This inner default of selfhood has never been solved by relationships, no matter how good and close and warm our relationships might be.
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/CY-LONE.html
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This void is one I have striven to overcome. It is the one that haunts my existence to this day. No matter the effort, too often I am left to understand my thoughts and meet the world alone.
People withdraw and isolate for many reasons. One therapist told me isolating is a form of pity party. Who knows? It seems quite evident, however, that isolation is a symptom of a problem which needs addressing.