Wow Sky,

I haven't been here much lately other than poking my nose in once it a while. It is really understandable how much you are effected by these hurricanes. It's not like there is one & it is over & you can work through those issues, but it is something that continues to happen time after time each year......different hurtful things happen each time....just adding on top of the initial experience.

I can only imagine what you go through since I have only experienced "hurricane force winds" several times in my life. When I was 5 & in Kansas where all the tornadoes kept hitting, there was one night where the storm sounded so bad I looked out the apartment window to see the rain horizontal to the window. The sirens went off & all I remember was my grandfather having his raincoat around me & walking outside to the basement. The garbage cans that were lowered into the ground were floating above the ground. When we got to the basement, it was flooded & everyone in the apartment complex were huddling together to keep warm even though it was summer. At that age, I had no idea as to what was going on....& nothing at that time seemed to be damaged after that storm. Another summer I was there 1 week after a tornado went through Topeka from one end to the other with total destruction left. All I knew about that one was that everyone said that it sounded like a thousand freight trains were running over the city. Luckily my grandparents were just out of the path...but heard it coming then watched it change direction. The destruction was very similar to your description of the hurricane except the amount of water.

I never thought that the Antelope Valley would ever experience anything other than our earthquakes but we actually had a hurrican force wind come through a couple of years ago. I had just come home from the ranch & was standing under the garage door watching the rain come. All of a sudden, the rain was horizontal to the ground & the wind was even worse than our normal wind stormes. Our housing track had at least 1 tree down for every house. We lost several trees in the back yard & one of ours took out our neighbors roof. Then it comes to the insurance coverage & it doesn't cover because it is "an act of God". Why in the world is insurance religious....lol.

I am so sorry you have to go through these experiences so many times each year.....it doesn't even give you a chance to get through one before another one hits you again. Your description is so descriptive that it is just like living through it ourselves without the actual experience. I can really understand your feelings......also t he fact that is seems hard to post the things that are bothering you each time it does it.....even though it is quite reasonable for the need of support through these rough times. I am glad you are posting your feelings....it is good to get them out & expressed. Sometimes it gives at least a little relief I hope. You should never feel bad about the need to post your feelings......when you need support, you need it.....& we are here to hopefully help you through this rough time.

I have also had the time where I entered chat after going through situations that I really need support with.....& even when I say something, it gets lost in the other chatting. I continue hurting, but get sidetracked in the chats.....when it is all over, I feel as crappy as I did before.

If ever you need a little more than posting, PM's are something I make time for even when I am not in here. I hope you are doing a little better now, but knowing how flashbacks & reoccuring thoughts haunt. I hope your companion puppy is being companion to you during these times. I know that having my dogs close when I am having a hard time......makes a lot of difference. I am glad you have a T that has gone through the same experiences as you.....it helps them understand the PTSD aspects of the situation. Guess that is why not many understand my situation.....they look at it initially as just someone stealing something.....until they look at all the other things that happened.....but I hate it when my feelings get trivialized.....know you must be going through some ot that also.

Take care of yourself.....I care,
Debbie