An oldtimer at my homegroup says that relapsing is like a game of rushian roulette. You never know when the bullet will be in the chamber. You never know when you go out again, which time may be your last time. Everyone knows they can go back to meetings and get a pat on the back and a welcome back. So many people go back out because they "think" they can always go back to sobriety. But what if the bullet is in the next hit of meth? You're playing rushian roulette, and the next pull of the trigger may be your last. Is getting a fatal disease what it's gonna take? Like you said, maybe that would be the way of making you take a look at your life. I don't think I can say anymore on this issue. I don't want to believe you're a lost cause. I haven't experienced that in my own groups yet. So I don't know how to. I'm gonna quit posting on this thread, but before I do, I just want to say that I hope you get the smack upside the head that makes you come back.

~Rayna