Well guys, thank you very much for being pocket riders. I really almost did NOT make it through work today without walking off the job.

Thankfully, my T was wonderful. I cried a ton (again) due to the stupid trauma stuff. He brought up doing EMDR with another T that he would bring into his office with him there with me. I said "Oh you get it how terrified I am of other humans!" He just looked at me so sincerly and said "Yes. I do." WOW !!!!!! I was all OMG!!!!!! HE GETS ME !!!!!!!! It takes such time to build that trust. And he said he was the same way with EMDR when his T suggested it. He said he told his T he would only do it with HIM there in the room to help. And his T did it that way.

My T also talked to me out the whole termination thing. He said that most T's care deeply about clients and would not just leave them and forbid any contact - stuff that would push a client over the edge. He said that he may have to make recomendations, but he would always be gentle and firm at the same time - not just drop someone like a hot potato. So now I don't feel fear about getting close to him and having THAT happen.

AND my T also did set me up with a Friday session. He is moving to a new office and will be painting it - so he said he will be in his painting clothes :-) Like I would mind. But he is going to his old office JUST to see me !!!!! I was like W O W !!! So I think I can make it two days of very bad work conditions because I know he is doing this just for me. That he cares that much!

I have to sleep now - the session was draining. But I feel safe with him. That is just blowing my socks off. I almost cried just him making a way to see me when he knew I would need him for real. Wow.