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Hunny · Oct 20, 2010, 07:54 PM

Rhiannonsmoon, (I have written much but read what you are able)

Thanks. You are so thoughtful to consider me in the midst of the presenters at the fund raiser.

It was somewhat difficult to be there when they showed the videos and particularly when one young woman read her poem. It is probably why I came here to help me diffuse the experience.

You see Rhiannonsmoon, when I returned home from being away for five months, my younger sister at age 15 and 5' 3" was 78 lbs and going down. Since that shock years ago there has always been a desire in my heart to do something, anything, if not for her for someone like her. It was a terrifying experience for me, seeing my sister like that, with two alcoholic parents and no help in sight, except judgement and shame on the parents and misery for the rest of us as we were already firmly ensconsed in the family disease of alcoholism, only some of who were alcoholics.

That was 40 years ago and eating disorders were never heard of or at least rarely. The neglect due to alcohol abuse by our parents was extremely abusive. My sister, the youngest was raised almost entirely by the disease. These memories are painful to me and listening to the healing stories at the fundraiser was painful. No one helped us in those days. The family was a mess but today with awareness people are receiving help. In a way it was healing for me to be at the fundraiser to see how far we have come but yes, it was at moments hard for me to not run out of the room.

I know it isn't a perfect scenario but for dissociation/did it seems we are about how eating disorders were 40 years ago. The awareness is so minimal not even near a fundraisers yet, but some day, oh yes, someday. By the way, I just saw on tv that on Nov 3rd, Oprah will have something on her show for men who have been sa. Now I know that neglect is not sa but neglect is abuse, even if the parents were only drinking. It has to stop.

I don't know you too well at all Morgana but appreciate your strength and your challenge to me. It will get better, trust me, it will. No expectations just healing at your own pace, okay? But it will get better for you and for the system and for me and for other people's systems. I have to believe this!

But having said that. The pure joy of the experience of that fundraiser is in the knowledge that somebody will receive help from the funds raised. Also, as a side, I was able to tell a mother of one of the girls about Alanon. The Dad, her husband is an alcoholic. The mother is in so much distress about her daughter and her husband. The poem the young woman, 18 years old, wrote was phenominal. She addressed her Dad and his drinking and she addressed her eating disorder.

I don't know what else to say Morgana, but it will get better.

Morgana

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Hunny you are a strong and wonderful person to attend without trauma these places and to think that a group of people could gather together without problems and feel comfortable just being who they are

If Rhiannon could leave the home it would be an excellent situation for her to gather with others similar. But leaving the home is something I can do so if there were a group around we could attend. You have given me an idea and thank you so much for it

Morgana