Before I even write this I know it's going to be a little harsh...radio_flyer, I don't know you - I really know nothing about you. What I do know is it sounds like you're being taken advantage of. These "deals" AJ's making are hurting you both and the fact that you feel obligated to stay unless the basement gets rented out seems absurd. These are AJ's decisions, not yours. You will never be able to "make" someone else do what you want them to. The best thing you can do is decide what's best for you and act on it. I'm sure you are friends...but still sometimes the best thing you can do is not clammer for the "honor" of fixing their mistakes. You just have to take care of yourself and tell your friend, I'm sorry, but those weren't conditions anyone could live under and I'm sorry you put yourself in that situation. Yeah, it's hard. But honestly, it's not your fault or your problem. I've spent about half of my life in therapy and that's something that they've all been big on. You make your own decisions; you can't "fix" other people. You have to be your own advocate and find the course that's going to help you be happy. You can't worry about how he's going to get to work without a car or license, him loosing those things is a direct result of his decisions and therefore his problem. You didn't cause it and you aren't responsible for fixing it. Why does your happiness and sanity rest on him being more responsible and having a job......?

Yeah... now you know how therapy goes for me: "Stop fixing other people's problems and start fixing your own." Sorry about the rehash but I think perhaps it's right on in this situation.