I know the first time I realized that I was having problems almost 12 years ago, I thought I was going crazy too. I didn't know what was wrong.....but felt like a wild animal that had been pushed into a cornor with no way out. Since then & even now I go through times where I feel like I am fighting within myself. Part of me says you have responsibilities....you have no choice but to take care of things & no time to allow yourself to just stop functioning. I have even had times when I have been taking care of my responsibilities & ended up in situations where depersonalization took over & I was watching myself do & talk. They are scarry feelings until I took the time to discuss it with my pdoc & got the explaination of what was going on. Hopefully you will be able to have a professional pdoc of psychologist or T to talk your feelings over with. Now that I have learned to trust my psychologist, I have found that they are available between appointments to help deal with issues that come up.

If you don't have professional help, I would strongly suggest that you find it.
Debbie