Thanks for your support.

I feel much better today. Hope it will last... the past week sucked with gravity of blackhole... But I figure out I am still triggered by being back to school and all that. I think I should sleep more, which is hard on double-room full of people who don't go sleep before 1:00AM. Ah,well.

And just by a lucky chance I walked into an store with herbal supplements and such... bought Rescue remedy... it seems to be working. Or maybe my mind decided to behave again, all of sudden... but I have been productive today.

That being said, there are people who have been successful without meds.

Well, I hope to be one of them.

Don't knock it till you've tried it love.

I am afraid the damage may be irreversible... it had been for some people in the past and i don't want to risk it, unless absolutelly necessary. I can still manage, even if it's superhard at times. I am not danger to myself and I am not hurting others. So I have a lot to lose... I am afraid that I would not be myself anymore, that i would lost my creativity, lose emotions completely. I don't want to gain weight (because I have enough issues with my self-image as it is), I don't want to risk my health...

I have been advised in the past by an alternative therapist (whom I unfortunatelly cannot see now as he lives some 200km from here) that it's okay to go without medication as long as my BP does not dramatically interfere with my life.
For me this is a question of my beliefs... I don't believe in chemistry...

Thanks again for your support.