Here's where I stand. Part of what has lead me to this area in the forum and why it's easy for me to relate to so many here...

I have read lots about DID. I have taken the DES. You know how there's the list of 5 main symptoms of DID? I have all but one. I don't have alters. On the DES? Most people who score over 30 have a high chance of being dx'd with DID.. I score a pretty consistent 60.

I know you all can't dx me, not posting this for that purpose.. I suppose just for the purpose of sharing my experience, so you can know a little about what lead me here..

I have had one incident in which I had kind of a co-conscious alter come forward.. but I don't know what that was really.. you know? like was it real? was I making it up? I will say that when it happened, it was very confusing.. I couldn't understand what was going on and why I couldn't 'control' it. But it only happened once.

I have talked about all this with my husband. And that 'alter' came forward and spoke to him. So he knows what's 'going on' with me.. but no one else does.

Anyway... this stuff is all rather disturbing and confusing to me.. but I hope I can understand it soon.. I just started therapy (have had 2 appointments), not sure when/if I will talk about all this with her. I just don't want to sound dumb or crazy or anything, you know?