when my t looks at me with his "concerned face" i just shut off - throat goes into lock down. But thoughts spin around and around. Need to change subject or leave the room - he says i deflect with my job - most people deflect with humor - but talking about what is in my head/heart............

i will try the list as sugahorse suggests.....but the last time i was honest about my feelings my therapist wanted me to go inpatient or go to an outpatient program and if i wouldnt do that he couldnt work with me (because i wasnt taking the help he was offerring), he called it "inviting me into therapy"

when i open up, people leave me or avoid me.......and yes they judge me. i already hurt - i know talking about it is supposed to help - but i just dont feel strong enough