((((tree))))) I am struggling to respond as I am a bit triggered right now but I wanted to give hugs and say I'm right there with you. Can you try some self-soothing? Try to knit or drink some tea? Can you try a mindfulness exercise perhaps? Or maybe try to locate where the feelings are inside? Like, in what part of your body? And maybe try to solidify the "object" of that feeling and put some space around it inside?

I wish I could help more.. when do you see T again?