Kitty.... Guess the first thing I'd like to say is, "it is my choice" to stay and help rent the basement.. No one is making me do anything. Is my nature to not just run out. I try to leave things behind in "decent" order...

It never entered my "mind" to try to fix AJ or to tell him what to do. My goal is to "encourage" and perhaps guide him. I know he is his own person and he makes his own decisions. Sometimes when we see someone we care about making "poor" decisions, we try to guide them.. But the bottom line is, it is their decision/choice.

And you ask why does my happiness and sanity depend on AJ getting a job and being more responsible. My answer is, we as parents want to see our children settled and responsible in life. We want them to be happy. We want them to "find their nitch" in life. We even tend to want them to have a better life than we had, not that I had such a horrible life... So, my happiness does not depend on AJ...It would just be less "worry" should he find a path and follow it.. I can't make AJ's decisons for him. I don't even try..

Hope this clears things up..