Wisewomen,

I have hopes that I will be able to "control" my urges more. I know that I have come a long way. There was a times when I would be so fearful that someone was going to break into my house and harm my family. That fear was so real for me. There was another thought I had, that I am too ashamed to talk about right now becaue I still have tremendous feelings of guilt over it . It was all I thought about, over and over and over. I used to sit in the bathroom and beg to GOD to please let my brain be quiet if even for a little while. I needed a break from these never ending thoughts and compulsions that had come over me.

I am not as bad as I once was. I credit the medication for that, however, as I explained above, there are still things that I "have" to do to ease the anxiety and my brain. I also still count. I have to constantly count and I also have a fear of certain numbers. I avoid such numbers at all costs.

Getting back to your question....I would hope that there will be a time that I can be free of it. Do I think it will happen? No, for me, I think I will always be like this in some way or another.

I hope that your daughter finds a way to break free because I wouldnt wish this on anyone. It is terrible not being able to stop yourself from doing certain things.