Tomi,

I am in agreement with the others of not giving her anything until she personally comes to you and asks nicely for them. Why should you go out of your way when you are being treated this way. If she wants them badly enough she can nicely ask you for them....& hopefully that will open the path to civil communication between the two of you. Maybe Jerry can suggest to her that it would be appropriate for her to handle it that way rather than going through him saying that it makes him uncomfortable to be put into that position. He shouldn't enable her avoiding you. If handled in a non-combatant manner by all it may be the one event that could smooth out the relationship.....if it works out even sort or ok, you might suggest helping her identify what the photos were of her younger years. It is just a suggestion, but sometimes what seem to be the worst situation can be a turning point in a relationship.

I know looking back at my relationship with my Mother......she was the one that would get into real pissy moods or what ever it was. We would be talking on the phone & something would tick her off for what seemed to me no reason at all. She would hang up & I would just let her alone.......within several weeks, I would get a call from her.....I would never bring up anything about what happened & she would just have let it go. Things would be back to what ever was normal for her. She was like that all throughout my life.....without any mental illness......even though in therapy, I have realized the problems that she had.....not that I didn't know it before that. I never did know what her problem was with things....or why she reacted the way she did. Guess that was one good thing with me is that when I would get mad at something, I would forget why I was mad within hours. Grudges were never my speciality after seeing how it destroyed my grandmother, making her a bitter person.

In our family, our photos have just been where they are knowing that they will be passed on sooner or later. Guess that is one good thing good about being a family of only children for 3 generations. Of course not I am going through the photos & don't have the foggiest idea of who they are & there are no names on the photos to give a hint.

Hope you can find the best way for yourself to handle the situation.....you have to do what is right for you. I am thinking of you.
Debbie