(((((Tree))))) Sometimes T can't make the yucks go away. Even when they want to more than anything. It is a part of having a trauma core (as my T calls it). Sometimes all a T can do is just BE with us. At least then we will not feel so alone. Perhaps he didn't push you because he could tell you were in that bad place and he didn't want to make it worse. So instead, he was doing what he felt you really needed rather than what you might think you need in this state. You know he is there for you.

I am sorry you are in the bad place right now. BIG BIG safe kind hugs to you!