Thanks everyone.
I think he's hurting so bad because of the past, which he won't make peace with. And I know I did wrong and was to blame. I think that's why I won't leave. But at the same time, he took me back, knowing the issues that were in place, and I feel he should have made the committment to me, drawn a line in the sand where things went pear-shaped, and moved forwards.

I am very weary of him when the conversation gets heated. Last night I had to ask him to move a bit away from me, because I was worried he was within arm's reach of me and the conversation was getting heated. I basically had a mini panic attack.

I am aware that "one more chance" could be a dangerous position to be in...