My t has threatened to send the sherrif to my house if he is concerned - he says that because i have such a limited support system i leave him no alternative. he also says it is the last thing he would want to do, because it almost always ends the therapeutic relationship.

i like my t, as a person, as a t i am still trying to figure that out. he sent me to a day program and the t i had there was just emotionally more available - if that makes sense. i felt like my feelings were validated - i was validated - but he is over an hour away and only sees patients outside of the hospital on days that i work. that relationship was easier - but is easier necessarily better? doesnt really matter, i suppose.

trust, now thats a tricky one. do i trust t? no, not yet. have i given him a chance - i suppose i have not, i'm kinda funny that way - when a person i am supposed to be able to confide in keeps turning me to other resources i tend to stay on guard and not let down the walls. do i want to trust t? yes. do i know how to trust t? no. am i afraid to trust t? yes, im afraid to trust anyone - i dont think i trust myself as stupid as that sounds. even here i censor my thoughts - think and rethink what i say for fear of upsetting someone