Well this time I did it because I felt like a failure for not going to school anymore. But also I felt as if I was sorta in a trance and not thinking of the consequences. I started out with a small "tattoo" on my knee (though the ink didn't stay in.) Then I started eraser burning and doing small cuts. After that I was like "what the hell? I'll cut my arm." I think I may have nerve damage in my right arm because it is the only place I have ever really cut deeply. Or maybe it's a psychological thing.

I am in therapy, I go twice a week to a normal therapist and twice with an in-home therapist who takes me places and helps me with social skills. I just recently (two months) ago got out of a hospital where I was for three months. I was in a residential treatment center for five months before that. I don't want to go back.

Last time I had stitches I took them out because I was afraid I wouldn't have a scar from it if I did not. I don't really like having to live with my scars, but I feel like if I didn't have them I wouldn't remember where I was before? It's hard to explain and it's kinda irrational. But this time I want to leave them in because if I don't I may have to go back into the hospital. My dad was surprised they let me leave after they gave me the stitches.