Unfortunately, those feelings - well you can't run from them, they will continue to catch up. At least that's been my experience.

The group you are about to enter may feel in many ways like the your house with your family, but it isn't because YOU are different. You are no longer that helpless child. You have active agency over what you will and will not tolerate. If you hate the group - don't go. You are the power player now, not them. No one has that power over you anymore.

Yes, your T is there to protect you, but you can protect yourself as well. I think learning to do this is a process. The braver I am, the more confidence I develop, the better able I am to protect myself and open up to the marvelous possibilities of the world, leading to more confidence etc.

But it is a process, and I suspect I have walked a road very similar to you, but maybe a little ahead of you right now. You'll get there. I've definitely learned that the more scared I am, the further down that road I have to go.

Be safe and strong.