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PT52 · Oct 22, 2010, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Thank you all. So very sweet and much appreciated.

Well, we're back and unfortunately, I can't say that it went particularly well. Seems they added a second felony charge to what he was charged with when arrested (booked? Not quite sure when that happens in the process). Then, in calling to obtain a public defender, they said 24 hours must pass. With the weekend, that means we can't even set up an appointment with one till Monday. Great. More time to totally stress over it. Obviously we'll be insisting on a psych eval (and he does have a history of mental issues that not oncommonly lead to such a state, this just reached a new level). Still, with the attitude of laymen towards mental issues (and who among us doesn't know this all too well?...) along with the level of the charges it is beyond scary.

I feel like crying. Hard. Even though I have a hard time doing that anymore, my insides are howling it. We are just feeling so powerless, very very scared and with such loss of control over our lives. I've felt powerless so strongly and many times in the past, and this just trumps those times in such a huge way. Words fail.

Awww!!! I wish I could take all the bad feelings away.

I know I talk way too much, and give way too much advice, but I really believe you don't have to feel powerless or let anyone else control your lives. So...

I know you have a lot to absorb over the weekend, but it might be a blessing in disguise. There really are things you can do to feel less powerless. My brother is a lawyer so I've heard stories about public defenders. Most don't spend a lot of time on cases because they don't make money on them. So it will be up to you two to be your own advocates. You can get prepared by writing everything down - the charges, the circumstances, the symptoms he has - everything you can think of. Try to put dates and times as much as you can. Follow up with the attorney every day if you have to. If he (she) says he will order a psych evaluation, make sure that it actually gets done; don't just take his word for it. Actually, don't take his word on anything - get verification. When he files documents with the court, make sure that you read them thoroughly and that you understand them.

Try to become informed about the laws and what your options are, plus time frames - some people lose cases because their attorney didn't file documents in a timely manner.

Anyway, talked way too much, but this is what I would do (did do, a long time ago)..