There have been times in therapy when it's been REALLY hard for me to look at T...after a recent disclosure, I was terrified to look at him, and didn't for that session and the next session - not even a glance. He kept saying "I need you to look at me so you can know you're okay".

When I finally did look at him, I got what he meant. There was T, there I was, and I didn't have to hide, or not let him "see" me. He looked at me with acceptance and caring.

It took me quite a while in therapy to be able to hold T's gaze, and at times (like above) I lose the ability, but we work on it, and I learn to do it again.

There IS something very vulnerable about looking into someone's eyes - or rather, letting them look into mine. For me, in T, allowing that vulnerability and having the EXPERIENCE of not "dying", not being hurt, not being abandoned, was huge.

Like so many other things in T, I had to do it in baby steps, and I had to take a leap of faith. SUCH scary stuff...but sometimes the scariest stuff leads to the deepest healing.

to you