Wow, Sardean that is overwhelming. I don't think i could handle that, i feel for you. I hope that they do leave by January. My bf says there really is no where else for her to go. She could stay with the brother who lives in the next state but that brother has his wife, mother, sister and sisters kids living wth him. Its always been that way. At one point the entire family lived together in a 3 family house but they all had to move. The other brother has 4 kids of his own. The one that lives in the next state has said she can come there but she doesn't want to go. She told me that yesterday when she was complaining about that brothers wife trying to run things and change things in her family when she just came into the family a few years ago. She doesn't like her. She hates her father, wants nothing to do with him. The only person she says understands her is my bf. Her mother passed away several years ago. She did not have custody her father raised her since she was born with help from the family i guess. His family is very close, emeshed i would say. Its not what i'm used to. My family is not like that. We would see each other on holidays or at birthdays and talk on the phone every so often but his family is used to being together all the time. When i moved here to be with my bf, they called almost everyday and expected him to come there every week. At first he would go there practically every day after work and on weekends until i complained. He loves being around them and being around alot of people all the time its what he is used to. I am the opposite. I have a small family and in my family when someone gets married or moves in with someone or out on their own, you see them when you see them and talk to them whenever you can its not like your going to die if you don't talk to someone for a few days or not see someone for a few weeks. And your new family becomes your priority. I don't have kids and my bf and i arent legally married but we feel we are and i consider him my family now. But they see people that aren't blood relatives as outsiders. They never consider how things may affect me. My bf made this decision with his brothers and never discussed it with me like i don't matter. He thinks i should just be ok with it and so does his family. At one point when i was in my early 20's i was living with my sister and her husband and i felt uneasy about it. I had my own room however, her house was not a cramped one bedroom apartment. I had a tv in my room and i pretty much stayed out of their way and on weekends i would go somewhere else and stay so they could have time alone. I was always concious of trying to give them space. I told my bf that and he said well its different, my family is used to being together and having alot of people around we like it that way. I said, but i don't, im not like you and your family! He still doesn't get it. He thinks i'm being unreasonable. I have written him letters telling him how i feel, crying out to him on paper basically, telling him how its affecting me, because i can't have a conversation with him because we are never alone. We haven't been able to talk about the letters. I'm alone now because she went to sign up for school and she is visiting her step mother. My bf said she was going to go to the movies with a friend and then probably stay overnight. I was happy to have some alone time and me and my bf were going to the city tonight. Well she called me asking what time we were going to the city and can we go to this particular restaurant so she can get the steak. Yup, so there goes my alone time with my bf so we can talk. She said to me, i'm gonna rush home. Soon as i hung up i got this tingling and jittery feeling that i have pretty much all the time now. Tomorrow my bf is going to see his brother that lives in the next state and i'm demanding he take her whether she wants to go or not. I need to be alone. I can't even talk to anyone on the phone in peace. I am so unhappy and miserable. I don't feel like i can support myself alone on disability. I can't believe i let my life get to be such a mess. I had a job at one time, a car, friends and i did things and went places and now i feel stuck in a situation i can't get myself out of. And the bad thing is i don't know how long this is going to last. She turns 18 in a few months but she'll still need a place to stay. She won't be able to get out on her own. Where i live its expensive and you have to make good money to have your own place. Most single adults have roomates. I know how hard it is to not have your own place because i've been there where i needed help but like i said i tried to keep myself out of the way. She's a kid so she's not thinking like that i guess. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck. I feel like i'd be better off not here at all if you know what i mean, at least i'd be at peace. It sounds drastic and proabably dramatic but thats how i really feel about my life. I have felt that way alot of times when i've been unhappy. Me and my bf weren't getting along alot and we were barely speaking and we finally started getting along again and we were doing well and now this has happened and we are back to where we were again. So I'm back feeling like whats the point. Anyway sorry to go on and on about this and TO ALL THAT POSTED their support and kind words to me thanks so much for being there for me, it means so much!!!

Anjelmarie