Jazzy, I'm glad that you seem to feel more empowered against these bad guys. I'm really sorry all of these things happened to you. Are you going to talk to your T about these past violations and abuses?

About your sexual identity, maybe work a bit through these incidents with the males in therapy and work on being in healthy relationships with guys and then maybe it will be clear to you where your sexual attraction lies?

Do you think that you might not be attracted to healthier guys because healthy makes you feel uncomfortable about yourself? (This is something that many of us have to work through. When we have been through things that make us feel bad about ourselves, being around healthy people makes us more aware of our bad feelings about ourselves. Unhealthy people are unable to focus much on us so we can hide ourselves in these relationships. What we need to do then is, in therapy, work through our discomfort being around healthy people.)

And please don't feel bad about posting. This site is here for you to post, so post away!