You guys are spot-on. My T had to teach me that lesson - that I had to learn how to ASK for a NEED and not just assume he knew. A baby will CRY (a healthy baby) and they demand that the parent feeds them or changes them. A good parent knows the difference between demands of need and cries of want. They know how to answer needs while not responding to every want because that creates big problems later on.

Our T's are trying to often fix what some parents didn't do the right way. So yep, we have to learn how to cry all over again. And that is no fun at all. But now we have words. My T said it is called "finding our voice" . Like the session that happened Friday, I did not just say I wanted one, I told my T that I NEEDED it. But sometimes I say that about wants because I don't know the difference. It was frieghtening to ask for it. And after I found out he really was not going to be in the office, I thought for sure my need would not be met.

The shock came because he did meet my need. And his meeting my need was a priceless gift to me. He went out of his way to be the "good father" who would drop everything to go help a child if thy really could do it and it was a need.

It is very frieghtening to learn how to ask for our needs. But it is a very important life skill that we need. Most of the people in the world walk around expecting needs to be met and most wounded people expect needs to not be met. There is a nice balane of maturity that we are learning from our T's. And living a balanced emotional life is worth the work we put into it now.

So good for you for asking for what you need and for being very clear about that need. And keep on doing it! Also, if you NEED something that T does not respond to, bring it up and clarify. Sometimes T can make a mistake (like what mine did with the email a few weeks ago), but a good T - like a good parent - will appologize and will assure you that you are still cared about and that they will try harder to be there when they can. But the bottom line is to always work extra extra hard to BE HONEST.
That is what makes the difference in therapy.