I feel a little chagrined at trying to be "positive" -- it seems that it is something being forced upon me by others, as in childhood, someone who did not want to see anything "negative" even though I felt that our lives were being made a version of hell by that very person.

But I have to acknowledge that my life is considerably better than it used to be, and I have learned a lot in the growing process. Not easy still. A whole lot better than it could be.