Quote:
Originally Posted by doogie
"She said, you are on the path. You are on it, now. Right now."
Sounds very similar to what my T says when I say "I don't know how to do this." and she says "you are doing it. You are doing it now." I don't totally get it, but I guess she is saying (and maybe your t, too, though I don't want to overspeak) is that the process is the path to some extent. That the process is the "doing it". The showing up every week - in whatever form - is the "doing it". I don't know. Something to think about for both of us maybe.
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Doogie I don't know either. The rest of what she said at that moment was, "
it's painful; but you have a lot of courage."
I don't think of myself as courageous.
When I reacted to the imago therapy premise so badly (I don't WANT to be my mom, I don't WANT my father back in my life, what I need from my DH is totally the opposite f my father; and if all DH is looking for is his Mommy, and not me, I was ready to give up) T recommended that I throw the book out, since it was upsetting me that much.
When I got into her office I told her that I hadn't thrown it out, I had decided to wait a few days and calm down and give it another try; it may be that the overreaction was from fear of change, from denial.
She said that that was brave, I dunno.
I also told her that I am afraid that I will just resign myself to accepting that my reading of Harville Hendrix is right, my DH is just looking for his Mommy; that there is no such thing as love between adults.
And so we will go forward: I will be Mommy to my DH and make him happy; and so he will not abandon me as my father did; so if he will not go, but will otherwise leave me alone, then hey who could ask for anything more. T looked very troubled at this, but didn't say anything.
I have a feeling we are going to talk about it again some day.
