Quote:
Originally Posted by madisgram
 muser , can so relate to your trust issues. idk but therapy helped me deal with this a lot. some of the solution is setting boundaries with others. then if trust is broken we need to assess if the offense is (1.) totally unacceptable or (2.) if we are willing to accept what happened-we all are not perfect-...(that doesn't mean either to forget the transgression 'cause we learn from things) and try to rebuild the relationship. i was told to be cautious with the offender after that if i chose to continue the relationship. that doesn't mean being paranoid, just careful to protect myself and feelings.
does this make sense?  hard to write a short post sometimes.
as for ruminating on it...that keeps you in the past...don't i know! have u discussed this with the other person? sometimes that gives clarity and also allows us to express how it made us feel. then hopefully one can build on that with the other person. |
Makes perfect sense, Madi
It all makes a good deal of sense.
It's the "
ruminating on it...that keeps you in the past" that has me trapped.
Forgiving is in my nature. I am cautious. The hurting part I understand. Forgiveness isn't a big mystery....they're sorry, I get that. Believing I am worthy of the regret they promise?? .....dunno....
Could I be loved enough to deserve
reliable assurance .... a guarantee, or pledge, with sincerity such as what was given "You won't be hurt again."
The core of my problem...and I tear as I write....is that I fear am not that loved
How would I know if I was?