I'm glad I've over it too, my self-destruction was mostly caused by my computer addiction, set off every time my limit was up. People say, when I would talk to them about my attachment to Jesse and Rachel, that I'm too obsessed with them.. but they didn't see me when I was 12. When I was 12 I had met this boy Rene, and let me tell you, the feelings I felt for that one guy, it makes all my other relationships seem so insignificant.

My friends online didn't know how to deal with me if I was like that, which is probably half the reason why Rachel disliked me. As they were younger than I was, and didn't know me face to face, they didn't know what to do as much as they thought. They would argue back with me, which fueled my fire. In real life, when I would get like that with Dad, Dad would retaliate for 5 minutes, and in those 5 minutes he would determine whether or not I was being too emotional to think normally. Usually I would be, so he would just ignore me until I burned out.. which usually took about an hour or two.

Right now I'm not sure where my safe place is. On a lot of occasions since April it's turned into my Dad, who would logic me into stop crying and calming me down. It worked in the middle of things, and he can make me laugh no matter how upset I feel. But when it comes to the little things I can't get myself to go to him for those.

I'm doing good so far, I hope you're well too!