Hi Heather ~ and Welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry you have lost people in your life. Grief is so hard to manage/go thru.

How do you manage it? Well, time is the biggest healer. Unfortunately, we have to "wait it out" most of the time. There are 5 states of grief basically and they go in this order: shock, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. We go thru these stages when we grieve. It's just an automatic thing ~ something we can't control. When we get to the last one, acceptance ~ that doesn't mean we're all done grieving ~ it just means that we've accepted the fact that our loved one is gone ~ and now we have to go on with our lives. That isn't always easy for many of us.

I lost my husband in 2001. We had just gotten married ~ he died 12 days before our first anniversary. It was a second marriage for both of us. He was 54, and I was 51. I don't remember that first year after he died ~ I was in a fog ~ I just functioned but I wasn't really "there." Thank goodness my daughter had moved in with me by then. The second year after he died was horrible because I was out of the "fog" and I could FEEL the intense grief, the pain, the hurt. It was terrible. But each day that went on got easier ~ and by the start of the 3rd year, I was doing well. So time really is the great 'healer.' You also need to TALK to someone about your feelings ~ do NOT hold them in. I had my daughter to talk to - to "vent." If you have no one, then see a grief counselor. I also did that and that was very helpful.

I wish you the very best. Be kind and patient with yourself. God bless. Hugs, Lee