lynn - I have tried but I can't follow through because I'm just not that type of person. I always like to think that I could act the way he does but honestly, I just don't get angry like that and just kind of do things without little snippy comments. I always think about it after the fact like "man, why didn't I say this?" I sortof did earlier. I told him I had done dishes all week so I wasn't doing them tonight. He started getting ready to go to a friend's house and I said "so you REALLY not going to do the dishes?" and he walked to the kitchen saying something under his breath but ended up doing them and came out in a better mood. But that's the best I got haha.

I checked it out and the university offers counseling services to students but I couldn't find whether they offered it for couple's if the other person isn't a student here. So I think next week I'm going to go in and talk to someone and maybe during the session ask if it's possible for me to bring him with me. Or at least get some good ideas on how to approach him about it.

I understand that all this most likely is a manifestation of his insecurities. And on that note I know that fighting back and criticizing back wont make his confidence go up so I don't want to be the attacker. But at the same time I'm not going to sit here and baby his confidence while he treats me like crap.

What makes it worse is that my sister has been married to a man just like this for over a decade now and they're both miserable. She has flat out said if they didn't have kids together she would be gone and I don't want to get into that. So I want to leave but I genuinely want to believe he can and will "change". But then again I know you should never go into a relationship expecting change from a person. Ugh....I just don't know what to do. I don't want to keep going just to be in this same position in a year or two.

His dad is the same way. And the funny thing is that he gets so mad when his dad talks to his mom like that but then turns around and does it to me. I guess I want to work on it because I know he doesn't WANT to do it. Half the time he doesn't even remember saying the things he said. I have thought about actually breaking out a tape recorder during arguments because 10 mins later, he never said it (according to him).