(((((((((((((Zoo)))))))))))))))

My anniversary with T is coming up too (3 years)

It used to be REALLY hard for me to talk to my T about my feelings about him. REALLY hard. It felt embarrassing to love him so much and need him so much, and (because of past issues) I was afraid if I told him how grateful I am for him, he would suddenly realize he was being nice to me, and STOP. It felt like a REAL possibility.

I think the first time I really told him all of the big feelings I have for/about him, it was on a phone message. It was easier to do it with a little distance. Now, I can just sit there and tell him that I love him, that I'm so grateful that he's there and for the things he does for me, etc. Just like everything else in therapy, it took baby steps.

I like the idea of a thank you note. Maybe it would be easier to write down how you feel than to just say it? Or what about a small, meaningful gift? I give T (very) small gifts for his birthday, and they are always inexpensive but symbolic of something in our relationship, or in my therapy.

I know your T will appreciate your thoughtfulness, HOWEVER you decide to express it.