thanks for all your responces.i have to think about them a bit.sometimes i swear i have no other feelings.i doubt i would recognise it if i did.i hate it when my T asks me how i am doing on a scale from 1 to 10.i just want to scream how the hell do i know.i was even readin my old journals yesterday and it is the same thing.i write a lot about things that are going on around me.nothing about how i feel or anything.like i wrote about how i had SI but nothing about why i did it.books full of behaviors and things i did but nothing else exsept a lot of anger.