Thank you to ((Fool Zero)) and (((madisgram)). Madisgram - your post made a lot of sense to me. I hope I'll be able to put what you said into action. It's strange I'm good at giving advice to others but I come up empty with being logical with myself.

I have been re-hashing it in my mind and I wonder why I/we do that. Does it just fuel the fire or does this help us process the feelings. I also think my feelings are intense because mean things were said about members of my family.

I also restrained myself during the argument because I didn't want to stoop down to their level but the nasty part of me, wishes I could have - so when I re-hash in my head I feel frustrated. Like you said -having this feeling will only hurt me and it doesn't hurt them - so I'll have to focus on that. Thanks again for help.