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(JD) · Oct 24, 2010, 10:18 AM

Ok, that's not a whole lot to go on but only you can determine what comments fit the situation anyway.

I'm concerned with this comment, as well:

Quote:

I also restrained myself during the argument because I didn't want to stoop down to their level but the nasty part of me, wishes I could have -

It appears to me that you have invested in this relationship and desperately want them to think like you do, and come to the same conclusions as you do, and be in harmony with the process as well. Maybe you feel your friendship is broken because it's not how you thought it was, that you all agreed all the time on everything, like "good" friends do?

Of course, good friends often disagree. It's the ability to allow each other to have a differing opinion yet still support each other that adds to the strength of a good friendship.

Did these people turn out to be so totally different than you thought, that it irked you? That would still be about you, though, you know? You could be feeling that they mislead you, or you were duped into thinking they were something they are not? But that would still be your misconception, right?

I agree that hatred does nothing for the person experiencing it, well, nothing good that is. It does plenty negatively.

I would begin by trying to "allow" this other couple to have their opinions. I would suggest you turn your hatred to the decision/opinion they made, rather than onto them. (I mean, it's tough to just totally disintegrate hatred and this is a step down approach.) Realize that their opinion has nothing to do with you and your values and opinions. "There opinion of you is none of your business" type attitude.

You can revisit whether you want to remain friends with them or not, but hatred shouldn't be a part of it. Decide --as we all do-- if this is a view that you can allow or not. (Some people just could not be friends with people who go against something they firmly believe in, such as God etc... ) Base your level of relationship with these people on factors you want for the future. Friendship needs to have a level of trust of what a person will do or say when the other is in the crunches of life.

I'm sorry you've suffered such disappointment, and hope you can remedy this for your own benefit.

(Yes, hatred and intense dislike are two different things to me. I don't hate squid, but surely intensely dislike eating it.

)