we all make mistakes, gen. you can apologize if you can and perhaps that will help. the other thing is we can beneifit from our errors and try to use better judgement next time. you are certainly worthy of being loved. you are a child of God, imho, made in His image. 
oh i hope this doesn't get yanked. it's just my personal opinion not everybody's.
hugs, gen. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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