Dont mind me--im just venting...

Last night was a horrible night for me. I was having a delusion, urged to cut, bad anxiety attacks, panic attacks later on, paranoia,urges to vomit,i wanted to beat myself..yeahh...i felt like crying so0o0o much. right now, i feel the same tonight. it really sucks for me. its wierd..because right now i'm thinking i should beat myself up because i deserve it and maybe i will feel better and my problems will go away...BUT..on the other hand im feeling that its not true...you know?? sorry...just venting...

deb