Like the title says, I'm not really feeling like I'm going to kill myself, but more like I want to kill myself. I've dealt with enough negative thoughts and feelings in the past to be able to simple have these thought and prevent myself from acting on them, but I hate feeling this way. My boyfriend is so lioving, I don't want to tell him how I feel, he's such a happy person he wouldn't understand. I'm in middle of transitioning to a new medication, so I'm hoping the feeling will pass, but part of it is the fact that I hate my job to death and I wish I could magically find a better one over night and then start focusing on going back to school. My pride is what kills me, stupid how I let others opions get to me, even if they might only be imagined ones. Ugh!!