thank you all so much. i need time to process this information. it is all so confusing as i am "revealing" things to myself now that have me confused, scared, puzzled. and darnit, don't think i will rule out alters yet. head is so so fuzzy a lot. things going on "below the surface".

today at work my client flew into me as soon as i walked in the door (she's in constant pain and was up all night and takes it out on us aides who see her) and *i* "left", went somewhere inside my mind. was numb the whole time, looking at myself from far away. somehow got through the 5 hours, came home, took a couple pills and went to bed to escape.

am so sick of running, hiding. but have opened up a can of worms i just don't understand.

anyway, thank you all so much. this means everything to me to be able to share and to know "love" and rare understanding for the first time despite my imperfections.