It sounds like a really great new act, and I'm holding thumbs it comes together.
I'm sorry you were so triggered, but it seems you learnt a lot and had a lot of time to work through some emotions - hats off to you.
You can do it- we're right behind you.
SSRI's hardly work for me, so even though I was first dx'd with Major Depressive Episode, I was ok for a year on SSRI's going forward. Now I feel the mood stabiliser alone is not enough for me....