I've been with my t for several years, and she only just recently became comfortable enough to offer me a hug or hand hold if i get into too much pain in our trauma work. She initially was very reluctant to offer physical contact because of my SA background. But i felt that i very much needed it at times, and it was a source of friction for us. Finally, she offered a hug a couple of times and seeing that it was healing for me rather than damaging, she feels OK offering it when i need it. However, she has never held me in prolonged hugs or massaged me. And we are both female.